Spring Fun, Broken Doors, and the Fear of Spending Money

I have really, really been enjoying the last couple of warm days. Monday, I finally go to ride outside and it was glorious! The horses, especially Milo who wouldn’t stop running for a good 20 minutes, loved being outside. Yesterday, Todd and I went for lunch at one of our favorite spots and sat outside, then I felt it was definitely necessary to go for a jog when I got home. Oh jeez, when will I ever not die while attempting to run? Someday…and someday my show pants will fit again!

This morning we were greeted with the office door being jammed. Jammed as in it took five guys about an hour to finally get it open. It’s now sitting ajar without a lock or handle, slightly beaten up. Did it really keep me from doing my work? No. Did it give me enough of an excuse to meander around the lab and not do any work? Yes. It also gave me time to order a pair of chap inserts…finally.

The mangled door...

Facing the facts is hard, especially when the facts are a: I am not going to lose weight as fast as I imagine I could (I just don’t have the drive, motivation, or will power) b: I have to come up with a solution to be able to squeeze into my show clothes. My solution for chaps, is the chap inserts, which I bought today. They cost $57.00 with shipping, not bad considering the alternative of getting new chaps. However, I haven’t spent that much money outside of horse bills in a long time. It really freaked me out. I’ve become so driven to save money for showing and riding…and well just keeping my horses, I’ve forgotten that it is OK and in fact normal to spend money on occasion. Oh and I also have a job so I can earn back what I just spent. The fear of spending is fun-crippling and ridiculous in someways and good in others. I know I can save but now that I’ve bought one thing, I want to buy so much more!

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